We stopped at one of our regular haunts on the way back from an epic trip up north, but things were a lot busier than usual. So I thought I’d do the appropriate thing and compose a commentary written how I imagine David Attenborough might summarise such an experience. Likewise, If you’d also read this post in that voice, that’d be much appreciated.
So…here we go.
As we approach the jungle, the environment appears to be in dire straits. What is usually a somewhat relaxed and tolerable space is now infested with a swarm of animals of most unusual size. Indeed, it’s difficult to even find a space to take shelter from the chicanery. Once a safe position is found, however, we deemed it safe for two of our crew to depart and seek supplies.
However, all does not look well from the outside. While some specimens are somewhat bloated or large of girth, we can view one particular outlier that puts the rest of these creatures to shame. Defined as a ‘kite’ by my colleague, a term passed down to him from his father, this spectacle truly must be seen to be believed. The beer belly sits so far across the body, it’s hard to imagine how the abdomen is sufficiently maintained without causing unwanted sights within the shirt to become visible. It is a respite, certainly, when the animal departs from view, walking into its central habitat to no doubt consume healthy amounts of alcoholic substances.
After safely acquiring our position in the jungle keep, it wasn’t long before we received some unwelcome visitors. The Range Rover, a beast of unnatural origin, made the unwise decision to try and station itself aside us. Following a long and arduous process involving one individual having to exit the vehicle to bark directions, the structure had technically reached its destination. Yet with the rest of the jungle so tight for space, the driver was unable to make a clean exit. Indeed, an exit of any kind. At one point, it looked as though the other unfortunate traveller was about to deign to ask our good selves if we would be able to assist by moving our own humble abode elsewhere. Alas, if such a situation had occurred, we would have been wholly unwilling to sacrifice a position that was so hard fought for.
As their failure continued to produce amusement from the crew and the joys of the travellers being blissfully unaware of the insults being thrown in their general direction behind glass, our crew members return safe and sound with the necessary equipment. As much as it pains me to depart from this high farce, we escape from the chaos, allowing the beast and its beastly owners to finally escape a prison of their own making.
As we drive into the sunshine, it is safe to say that the jungle trip was, truly, a journey into the unknown.