Hey, hate on The Matrix Reloaded all you like, but if it didn’t exist then neither would the genius final fight scene in Step Brothers. Chew on that for a moment, why don’t you?
I’m assuming you know this modern classic verbatim, so I’m not gonna give any context. Kapeesh? So, those kids that have been giving Brennan grief are at it again at Krispy Kremes (yes, that meme is still iconic and I won’t hear otherwise), talking smack. But then Brennan and Dale hop onto the scene with a full frickin’ helicopter, and Brennan lets those tykes know that shiz is about to go down by giving them a damn hard glare, accompanied by a finger point that means business. The brats try to give the guys a roastin’, but no cigar. Brennan fires back with my favourite quote from the scene:
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but I’m gonna kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki‘
Sure, you need to hear Will Ferrell’s fine ass delivery to fully appreciate the raw comedy of this quote, but it’s worth it. Just take a quick hop onto old master YouTube and you’ll find the clip. Anyway, after this declaration of war, the hoard descends. And it’s clobberin’ time. Yep, a nice Fantastic Four quote there, but it’s appropriate. Because in the ensuing chaos, these tiny goobers are used as weapons to hit other fools of a Took, they’re karate chopped into submission, floored into Valhalla by Brennen’s kick technique while the man takes them out from a swing, and Dale’s fist takes out a whole swarm of competitors as he commandeers a roundabout.
And then the step brothers combine a whole can of whoopass as they take out the fools back-to-back, a move so epic that a bunch of doves are compelled to flow away as they honour Dale and Brennen’s awesomeness. All this power is enough to send the hoard running for dear life as the playground quickly becomes empty. Not fully empty, though. Good ol’ Gardocki doesn’t make it away in time. Nope. This bully gets what’s coming to him, and what’s coming to him is a nice bit of dog doo. Dale and Brennan give the guy a lecture on the consequences of his actions, but they mercifully let him go as he flees into the distance. Then it’s time for a celebratory handshake as they walk triumphantly into the sunset. Not without an argument about whether Brennan touched Dale’s drum set, of course, but y’know, it’s all good.
Missed other ones I’ve done in this series? Then check ’em out below.