It’s been a while, so I thought I’d get back on this subject once more after reading about how the last season of Peaky Blinders reached its conclusion (I only made it to series 3). And this gives me another opportunity to bash Prison Break, which is nice. Plus I’ll also mention a few of my favourite gals on the small screen recently. Spoilers for Peaky Blinders and Prison Break ahead.
I’m not sure why we didn’t finish off Peaky Blinders. I think one house member was just getting particularly frustrated with it, so we just stopped watching. I’m not sure. Anyway, I was reading a piece in Empire about the upcoming Peaky Blinders film and came across this particular paragraph:
‘Tommy, believing he has a brain tumour, is about to take his own life when he has a vision of his dead daughter Ruby, who tells him he must live.’
Great stuff. We all love that final season brain tumour reveal when the writers have exhausted all narrative competence and need to add a bit of good ol’ cancer into proceedings to add a spark of drama for their grand conclusion. But it can’t just be any kind of cancer, mind you. It’s gotta be a brain tumour. You can’t have Tommy dying of lung cancer, ‘cause that’d be lame. What, all that smoking caused lung cancer. Huh? That’s just WOKE, man. And you certainly couldn’t have Tommy dying of prostate cancer, because that might suggest some kind of impotence to the audience. No, it’s far more manly to settle for the good old brain tumour. It can stand in as an excuse for madness, after all. Sure, I’m not denying that there are numerous cases where brain tumours can cause mood swings (some of the treatment I had to cure my tumour certainly had a mood swing side effect), but it’s still a lazy ass ploy.
I watched the scene where Tommy hears the diagnosis on YouTube. He takes the news from the doctor like a champ, lighting up another cigarette and breathing in some masculine, heart healthy smoke as he takes in the news. Tommy asks how long he’s got. Then the doctor makes this really witty quip: ‘I understand that you have defeated many enemies, Mr Shelby. Now you have a new one. Inside you. You cannot defeat it’.
(Applause)
Wow. Subtle. Ingenious. Tommy keeps on inhaling that sweet nicotine, reprimanding the doctor before he continues his laconic speal, once again asking how long he’s got before he needs help. Once the doctor’s told him he has 18 months, Shelby maintains the same cool tone of voice, thanks the doctor and plainly states that he’ll get his finances in order. Short. Sweet. Masculine. Healthy. Hooray. The doctor says he’ll write to Shelby, and Shelby cuts him short with another dismissive ‘thank you’. Shelby wins the manly game of words.
Then I watched the final scene that Empire described. It’s done in typically stylised PB fashion with some moody music playing as Tommy stares at his burning home; the image of him framed in the entrance is taken right out of any classic Western like The Searchers, so the silent hero imagery is never far away. Sure, maybe not the towering load of flames, but hey, they’re just a groovy metaphor for Shelby’s apparent downfall. Oh, and that image of Shelby riding into the distance on his horse framed by the door again. The creators aren’t exactly coy about letting us know that their main guy is a 21st century tribute to the silent hero. Except this time, he’s got a fancy brain tumour to justify his retreat into the sunset.
I don’t get it. Why is it always a brain tumour? I mean I do get it, it’s an easy device to signify a change in a character’s mental capacity or depict madness, but…it’s just lazy as hell to push it in there at the end of a series. Speaking of which, let’s take another bash at Prison Break. I looked at a scene from this old doozie of a series too. Main man Michael falls over and he’s taken to hospital. The clip’s titled ‘massive headaches’, but I didn’t get any headache vibes from that clip, just a dude falling over in slow motion. Then there’s another scene where his nose starts bleeding, accompanied by dramatic music. Nose bleeding. Definitely a symptom of a brain tumour (the clip’s called ‘Michael Scofield’s illness’). And then it transitions to him being taken to the hospital again. The show doesn’t even make any attempt to depict the symptoms in a respectful format. The nurse asks Michael if there’s been any history of neurological disorders in his family and Michael mentions his mum. Cut to Sarah’s dramatic concerned facial expression. Then the scene transitions, and Sarah gives Michael his diagnosis. The way it’s filmed just feels like a classic American cheesefest. No, I’m not talking about cheddar, the edits are just cringy to an impressive degree. Then Sarah tells Michael he was ‘probably born with it’.
Whoa there. Cut the shit. ‘Probably born with it’? In case those super duper clever script writers weren’t aware, that’s not a thing. You can’t accurately determine that an individual was born with a brain tumour. I was diagnosed when I was eleven. Did the doctors know the exact moment when the tumour formed? No. It could’ve been there from a really young age, and it could’ve developed a few years before. There’s no way to accurately tell. And news flash, most brain tumours ain’t hereditary. So you’re already suspending disbelief my implying that Michael directly inherited the disease from his mother. Anyway, there’s all kinds of levels of medical bullshit going on here.
Sarah then says the surgeon needs to operate tomorrow. Michael says he needs two days. Sarah insists that the operation needs to happen tomorrow, or he’ll die. Again, no. The diagnosis doesn’t just go from ‘you have brain tumour, brain tumour growing, you need operation tomorrow otherwise you’ll die’. Oh, but it does in Prison Break. Because, drama. You really need that extra tension when you haven’t got any ideas, so why not shove in some nonsensical medical jeopardy to spice things up? Mmm, spicy. Also, Michael hardly says anything as Sarah delivers this news. He’s just the good old strong and silent type. Oh, and the scene finishes with a zoomed in dramatic close up on Michael that’s accompanied with equally dramatic music. Again, it’s so over the top that it’s just comical. Going off tangent a bit, there’s that scene in Inspector Morse where Morse and some other guy are just having a casual cup of tea and the camera insists on doing extreme dramatic close ups on the mugs of tea. Nothing dramatic is happening in the scene. The tea isn’t poisoned. What the hell’s wrong with you, camera? Likewise in this scene, there’s no need for that dumbass zoom in close up. It just creates comedy when I assume the cameramen (or women) are trying to create serious drama. There’s another scene where he has a big headache, and another one. Ok, I guess? I had big headaches and those made me feel bad too. It’s just that the blurry way in which these headaches are depicted in Prison Breaks are kind of comical with the melodramatic soundtrack and substandard acting. Oh, and there’s another scene where Michael seems to go momentarily blind and faints. Ok. Everything’s just farcical and set up to score cheap points with a lazy dramatic device. Meh.
Anyway, moving on to some lighter stuff. A few women on the small screen who I’ve felt really engaged by recently. So…
Rhea Seehorn, Pluribus
I was over the moon when Rhea got the Critics Choice awards for this show. It’s more than warranted, especially because of the damned disgrace that she never got anything for Better Call Saul. She remains my favourite actress working in TV today, and she’s just awesome. Nobody scowls like Seehorn. Or emotes as effectively. Watching Carol turn down all the happiness of those weird happy alien folks was a true joy to see.
Jasmine, The Great British Bake Off 2025
Sure, it finished a while ago, but I was with Jasmine from the first episode. Because, you know, no hair. A woman with no hair who’s confident enough not to conform to modern beauty pressures by wearing a luxurious long wig. Amazing stuff. And she turned out to be a goshdarn amazing baker, too. Amazing stuff, and an amazing inspiration.
Jessie, The Traitors 2026
Another inspiration, vibing with me this time because of her openness about her speech difficulties. And it’s just awesome to see someone with similar issues to you living their best life on a popular programme without caring what others think about you. And she mentioned at one point that her speech difficulties have made her more resilient. A fact which I also vibe with. I’m hoping Jessie gets all the traitors and wins that big pot of cash, but only time will tell. Go Jessie go.
Hello there. I’ve written about this subject a lot. And I mean a lot. It’s kind of personal. If you want to check out some other related stuff I’ve written (long hair obsessions, trigger warnings for cancer, treatment-related sandwich squeamishness and more) , see below.