I’ve allowed my website to go a bit dead in the last couple of weeks, so in (dis)honour of that, here are some of my favourite unalive folks. Shout out to zombie Samuel Peeps.
The Ghost of Stonewall Jackson (Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues)
Sure, he only features in the sequel for a few moments, but heck, John C. Reilly knows how to do a good cameo (see: Liquorice Pizza). The original Anchorman featured an entertaining group of warring news stations, but the sequel takes it up several notches with actors and celebrities aplenty, plus a whole load of names you could use in Pointless. If you were ever inclined to get onto an episode of Pointless and such categories came up, that is.
Plenty of new names come to the scene, including Marion Cotillard, Sacha Baron Cohen and Kanye West. And Brick has acquired a super powerful laser gun from the future. Nice. But there are also some figures of the past, courtesy of the history channel joining the battlefield. Among them is the mighty ghost in question. He doesn’t even need to say his own name, goshdarnit. Ron Burgundy simply asks if the apparition is that of a certain Stonewall Jackson, then we know exactly who we’re dealing with. He takes down a few souls and even gets close to retrieving the spirit of Ron Burgundy himself. Not bad.
Nosferatu (SpongeBob SquarePants, ‘Graveyard Shift’)
No, not the one from the famous German Expressionism film which I rather like. Well, yes, that one technically. But used in a different context. This is an episode where money-grabbing fiend Mr Krabs (no, I still can’t get over the fact that the voice actor, Clancy Brown, played the main nasty prison guard in The Shawshank Redemption) has the ingenious idea to make SpongeBob and Squidward work a night shift in order to get more of that tasty dollar.
But things start getting spooky when Squidward’s fake tales of a notorious killer (a ruse to scare SpongeBob), The Hash Slinging Slasher, start to come true. A phone mysteriously rings, a dark figure arrives on the bus and the lights start flickering. But then it’s revealed that it’s just a guy who wants to apply for a job at the Krusty Krab. He was too nervous to talk on the phone, so he arrived on the bus in person. But that doesn’t solve the mystery of the flickering lights. Cut to an image of the original Nosferatu with the figure’s arm turning the lights on and off. Followed by all the characters wagging their fingers while admonishingly announcing the famous vampire’s name. And the cheeky chap responds with a knowing wink. I’m pretty sure this was most of my generation’s introduction to this notable horror figure.
Zombie Samuel Peeps (Family Folklore)
I mean, this one is niche as hell, I’ll admit that. Mostly because it’s a made-up character that has gone down in family history because of a supremely well-woven story crafted by one of my older brothers during a creative speech when said sibling was in an earlier era. Not literally in an earlier era. But his creative oration definitely made you feel like you were back in the world of fiery London town. Where the notable writer was apparently walking the streets in a more zombified form. That was some fine storytelling. Bravo.
Colin Robinson (What We Do in The Shadows, TV Series)
There’s plenty to enjoy in this zany adaption of the beloved zany film of the same name. It’s great to see (and hear) Matt Berry back in comedic form as part of a troupe of undead folks living life in the darkened world of Staten Island. One guy who really stands out, however, is energy draining vampire Colin Robinson, a vampire-human hybrid who’s able to walk among the living and absorb energy from those around him by saying incredibly boring statements. Mood.
The whole appearance and expressions of the character make every moment with him on screen a joy to behold, particularly when he interacts with his unamused vampire flatmates. Plus he reminds my household of a certain irritating individual that often frequents the area of which we also…frequent. No more info on that particular debacle, I’m afraid. So, there’s some added catharsis for us there too.