I’ve seen this auteur’s latest eccentric feature, so it’s time to do an official ranking of all his features so far. That’s right. All those big films.
11 Asteroid City
If I could embody the ‘THIS STINKS’ unnamed audience member in that talent show episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, I would. ‘Cause Asteroid City does stink. It stinks a lot. It positively honks. Sure, you have the usual Wes star studded cast and that distinctive visual palette, but it doesn’t work, goshdarnit. I didn’t care about a single character in this film.
Part of the problem is that it doesn’t give you a main character to root for. My theory? All of Wes’ greatest works give you that central (always male) character. It doesn’t matter if said male happens to be single (Max Fisher), divorced (Royal Tenenbaum), married (Mr Fox), estranged (Steve Zisou) or devilishly promiscuous (Gustave H), but you’ve gotta have that guy to bring it all together. And Asteroid City ain’t got him.
10 The French Dispatch
Again, similar problems here. It’s all well and good to have separate stories, but dedicating screentime to different characters just means you don’t have a main individual to root for. And no, Chalamet ain’t enough of a draw for me to change my mind on that fact. And Benicio del Tero’s a fine actor too. But the whole thing just left me cold. This joint? A little too smart for its own good.
9 Bottle Rocket
Wes’ debut effort has all the distinctive features that would go on to blossom in his more impressive effort. It could be worse (see above entries), but it just hasn’t quite got the zaniness and comedic timing that made his other works so fresh. It’s nice to see Owen and Luke Wilson in early roles, however, and both definitely bring some heart to what could otherwise be a fairly formulaic crime caper.
8 Isle of Dogs
I’ve watched another far superior animated feature in Wes’ oeuvre, and this particular one didn’t really work for me. Going back to my previous theory, their ain’t no male lead. The plot about the boy looking for his dog isn’t enough to grab my attention. Nor is the impressive ensemble cast. Or the general animation style. There’s something there, sure, but the parts just don’t quite fit together.
7 The Phoenician Scheme
I was pretty excited for Wes’ recent offering, but also cautiously optimistic considering that I didn’t like his previous two efforts. And, y’know, it does have the central male figure, sure, but it didn’t quite work for me. The link between father and daughter didn’t feel real enough. And it’s nice seeing all the regulars (and newcomers), but again, Benicio’s deadpan patriarch hasn’t got the warmth of Wes’ previous protagonists. But shoutout nonetheless to the comedic talent that is Michael Cera. That dude should’ve hopped on the Wes train a while ago.
6 Moonrise Kingdom
Now we’re moving into the ‘ones I quite like’ category. And sure, while this one doesn’t have the central male figure, it still feels more heartfelt than some of Wes’ other stuff (see above entries). And a lot of that is down to acting powerhouse Frances McDormand. The whole narrative feels slightly different to the usual Wes plotting, but in a refreshing kind of way.
6 The Darjeeling Limited
No single leading male figure here, but three. And Wes’ central theme of dysfunctional families is alive and present in the three brothers that decide to go on holiday together. The plot doesn’t always go in the directions you think it would, and there are some surprisingly poignant moments too.
5 The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Okay, onto the big boys. The great guys. Starting off with this underrated cult classic. This one got some pretty beige reviews when it was first released, but the critics were wrong on that point. Bill Murray is the Wes BNoC (big name on campus, for those not in the know), and he shines in this central role as a man trying to kill the shark responsible for his friend’s death. And if you don’t feel awe when that Sigur Ros tune booms through in that penultimate scene, you ain’t listenin’ properly.
4 Fantastic Mr Fox
Now onto Wes’ glorious animated gem. Sure, it’s got the tried and tested ‘All the good guys are American, all the bad guys are British’ thing going on, but I’m happy to forgive that. Especially when there’s that kickass scene where Boggis, Bunce and Bean blast through with their diggers to the tune of the Roling Stones’ Street Fighting Man. And the animation’s top class, especially that adorable scene when the foxes are dancing with their stiff legs. Bravo.
3 Rushmore
While Bill Murray sits pride of place in the Wes Canon of Familiar Actors (WCoFA), Jason Schwartzman makes a pretty solid runner up. And he saved Latin, after all. At least his character Max Fisher did. But both of Wes’ faves play against each other in this genius comic fable, which is perhaps at its greatest in that genius revenge scene. But don’t discount other key players like Brian Cox who also helps the film shine. Great stuff.
2 The Grand Budapest Hotel
It’s a tough old choice deciding between this and the one that got top billing, but they’re both awesome. A lot of the greatness (or perhaps, grandness) is down to the main man in question, with Ralph Fiennes on top form as the eccentric and loyal owner of the eponymous hotel. No one does diction quite like Fiennes, whether he’s smashing a phone to merry hell and calling his wife an inanimate fucking object during In Bruges or demanding soldiers to remove their mits from his loyal protege in this particular joint. All of the acting is spot on, and the soundtrack is absolutely gorgeous to boot. Plus that fast motion chase scene in the snow fits my slapstick humour like little else.
1 The Royal Tenenbaums
It had to be this one. I know gene hackman didn’t exactly have the best of times on set, but his gruff patriarchal figure is the heart of soul of this jubilant melancholic masterpiece. Everyone’s on top form, and it’s just about Gwyneth Paltrow’s magnum opus. Either this or The Talented Mr Ripley, anyway. And the soundtrack may not be original, but the song choices are genius. There’s no way you can listen to ‘These Days’ without thinking of Margot’s iconic entrance scene, the same way you can’t think of the ‘Hey Jude’ cover song without remembering the splendid opening sequence. Many layers of genius. Well done.