Lots of eating. Lots of walking. Lots of sleeping. Much like the humble Snorlax. Except the walking part. That dude doesn’t like too much walking.
We didn’t fall asleep and block any roads. And even if we did (which we didn’t), then we certainly wouldn’t have been roused by the compelling tunes of a Poké Flute. If you get that niche Pokémon reference, congrats, you’re a bit of a nerd. If you didn’t get that reference, also congrats. You’re fairly normal. Probably.
Experimenting
Yep, we tried out some tasty foods and beverages and I even found a couple of hot drinks that I enjoyed for once. That would be the noble chai latte and some tasty apple juice. The brand is called Spuma and is apparently available in the UK, although I haven’t tracked down the goober yet. If it’s looking to be bought at an extortionate price, I can tell it I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a non-existent career. Skills that make me a nightmare for drinks like you. If you reveal your purchasable location now, Spuma, that’ll be the end of it. I will look no further for you, nor will I carry on pursuing you. But if you don’t, I will continue looking for you, I will find you, and I will drink you.
Ok. That’s the drink interpretation of the Taken monologue over with. Phew. Yep, some good experimenting there. Hold up a sec…what kind of experimenting did YOU think I was going to refer to? THAT kind of experimenting? Good god man, keep your insidious thoughts away from this arena, for this is a pious blog. I mean, I’m not religious, but you know. Anyway. Moving on.
Sun
Apparently Mister Sun was behaving like a bit of an absent bastard back in ol’ Blighty, so I’m glad he put in a good show over here. Sure, we had a couple of rainy days, but that didn’t stop us from engaging in our daily activities, even if I did get particularly soaked on a few occasions. It’s all good. My packing was mostly comprised of summer gear, so that generally worked out well.
Sojourns
Yes. Various relatively brief visits. Because that’s what sojourn means. The more you know. We managed to fit in a lot of those little guys. Lots of museums, churches, various famous landmarks, buildings. What kind of sojourns were YOU thinking of, good sir? THOSE kind of sojourns? Good lord, no. I’m insulted that you’d even suggest such an idea. So, starting off with a brief visit to Bologna. We got there late and procured a taxi. A taxi whose door I nearly broke because I hadn’t realised it opens electronically, not physically. Nice one. We stayed the night and spent about half the day there. And we spent some more time there on the way back on the trip. Super cool area. Lots of porticoes. Y’know, a roof structure supported by columns. Those shindigs.
Next destination: Florence. Probably just about my fave place. Partly due to the awesome lodgings, which were super fancy and luxurious. It’s really easy to get everywhere by foot, too. We got used to the area with a good ol’ food tour. Lots of cheese, lots of meats, and that all-important apple juice. Outstanding. And many great museums. Uffizi was the highlight. David was good, but heck, Venus was better. More on her later. We went to an evening slot which hardly anyone seemed to know about and had a whale of a time taking photos of statues. We generally aimed to get pics of the most memeable facial expressions on our travels. Sure, memes weren’t around back in ancient times, but there were certainly some meme worthy images. Mostly of babies with hella creepy faces. Not sure what the artistic thought process was there, but it’s pretty weird.
Last but certainly not least…Rome. Yes, we visited the Colosseum. We could literally stare out the window of our accommodation and see it right there. And yes, we had a tour around inside and within the gladiator arena. And yes, I had some Gladiator-esque photos taken there too. Why not? The sequel’s arriving really soon anyway. And yeah, lots more museums, plus another food tour. More of a sociable one this time round. Social interaction, hooray. Everyone was really nice though, maybe apart from a somewhat eccentric American dude who had some interesting conspiracy theories going on. And we reserved a whole day to check out Pompeii. We climbed mount Vesuvius, ate some Napoli pizza, and had amazing tour guides. And gelato. I haven’t bigged up gelato yet, but we had it on most days. The best flavour? Pistachio. No doubt.
Souvenirs and Charades
Some obligatory gifts for the family? Of course. Italy generally seems to be obsessed with cats for some reason or other, so I managed to get some cat bookmarks in this really cool souvenir shop in Florence. And I got myself a couple of pairs of new socks and a magnet. Nice.
But when it came to the fun and games, cherades had to be the main guy. We had some fun games of cards, for sure, but this one’s been a mainstay since we started going on holidays. Some clues can be brutal. Others can be tame. Some can be found in the middle range. I like to think I managed to do a healthy amount of each. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, but…I think I did.
Searching For Big Women
What were you thinking now? THAT kind of searching? Well, you’re probably right. In a sense. Back in my Japan holiday, I managed to get a funny picture of my brother next to a gargantuan Buddha statue, and I wanted to do an uno reverse by getting a picture of me next to a big female statue for comic effect. Alas, the range of large women statues and paintings in Italian art museums was distinctly lacking. A great shame. What gives? Nonetheless, I did manage to get a cracking one next to Venus herself in the Uffizi, which was definitely worth it. I was pretty gobsmacked that there wasn’t a huge crowd around her, but for some reason hardly anyone seemed to know about this evening slot. Nice.
Favourite phrase of the trip: Gorilla in an urban landscape
^If you know, you know. If you don’t…then you don’t 🙂