Below is a commentary on this…film. Yeah, I knew it was going to honk going into it, but good lord did it honk.
The Universal certificate that appears in the corner mentions ‘rude humour, language, threat’. Interesting. What humour? There’s no rude language, and there sure as heck isn’t any threat. Even if I was watching this as a 5-year-old, I don’t think I’d be particularly concerned. I can’t say that for sure, of course, I just like to think my younger self had some taste.
The summary reads: ‘In Textopolis, where the emojis are expected to display just one emotion, Gene’s multiple expressions are a problem. His solution: become “normal.”’ This description reminded me of the baseline test in Blade Runner 2049. In that world, Lieutenant Joshi (Robin Wright) would just arrive within the first few seconds of the movie and terminate Gene’s malfunctioning ass, thus saving me the need to watch the rest of the film. 🤗 Sadly, this is a kids’ film, so that doesn’t happen. 😰
Oh look! Someone holds up a phone and puts an emoji on the head of the Columbia Studios woman! LOL 🤤
Look at the sad emotion! He has to cry even when he wins the lottery! Comedy through opposing emotions huh? LMAO 😸
Main character saying he sounded British after observing a trio of British Monkeys, when he didn’t say anything in a British accent whatsoever. Continuity error, ROFL COPTER 😹
The animation is 💩. Bland, unimaginative, with loads of 💩 puns. And that includes the 💩 emoji, even if he is voiced by Patrick Stewart. The design of the characters is ugly and bland enough already, and their mouth movements are lazy and off-putting as hell. This is post James Corden being witty in the Gavin and Stacey era, so that’s not helpful either.
No investment in the character’s aspirations, either emoji or human. Your phone doesn’t work? OH NO 😿There’s no chance that the ending moral message will be to ‘just be yourself’, will it? Gene’s concern that he doesn’t ‘fit in’ certainly doesn’t give any heavy suggestions towards that ending, does it? 😱
Oh look, Gene’s parents walk through YouTube! That’s so meta! So funny! I’m so invested in their dynamic! 🤭
The short sequence where Gene goes through that number portal thing has the potential to have some vaguely compelling visual potential. Newsflash: it doesn’t. If you’re looking for some seriously creative recent animation and storytelling, check out The Mitchells vs. The Machines or Into the Spiderverse. Really, any other animated film besides this 💩.
There’s some 💩, poorly developed narrative with Jailbreak about how girls are pigeonholed into specific roles, and it lands even flatter than a one-dimensional pancake.
Jailbreak to Gene: ‘I think you’re pretty cool just the way you are’ *COUGH*HeavyMoral MessageVerySubtleWow*COUGH* 🙄
I hated this film enough already, and seeing James Corden doing a rendition of the spiritual song ‘Nobody Knows the Troubles I’ve Seen’, replacing the word troubles with ‘Touch Screen’…whoever came up with that idea, just…No. 😡
No Gene’s dad, I don’t appreciate you quoting the Paris line from Casablanca, a film that’s a million light years better than this cheap-ass 💩 🤬
Those bot bad guys things just look like generic version of those mutant-killing machines in X-Men: Days of Future Past, a film which, coincidentally, is far, far, far better than this snooze fest 😴
Oof, I knew it was going to be 💩, and it didn’t disappoint 😬