Black Mirror: Season 7 Ranking

I watched the new series a couple of weeks ago, and it’s one of the best yet. It’s time for a ranking session. All the episodes were great, but some are greater than others.

6: Plaything

Hey. Whoa there. Hear me out a sec. At least that’s what I felt like when I was mentioning this as my least favourite episode of the series to a family member. ‘Least favourite’ sounds negative in this context, but only because all the episodes this season were great. About as great as the fresh first series that came out so many years ago. Well, many years ago in my mind.

It’s a great episode. I loved seeing all those yellow things running around on the screen and living their best lives. Even if their ultimate goal was to control mankind and take away free will. I just feel like this one’s got a bit too much borrowed DNA from other episodes like Playtest (the gaming one where the dude wears the oculus-looking device) and Hated in the Nation (the one with all those killer bee lads and lasses). Also, there’s no way the make-up department didn’t take a hefty amount of influence from a certain recent Nicolas Cage joint. Yep, I’m talkin’ about Longlegs. And there’s nothing wrong with Peter Capaldi leaning into a bit of eccentricity, but you’re never going to out-Cage the Cage in that department. A strong episode that wears its thriller influences on its sleeve.

5: Hotel Reverie

The one obligatory gay episode per season, wooo. But yeah, it’s strong stuff, even if it doesn’t get to the dizzy heights of series favourite San Junipero. The black and white aesthetic helps boost the Casablanca vibe, and the whole AI dig about technology recreating actors and putting them out of their jobs is heard loud and clear. Apart from a slightly unnecessary final scene, the leads make a good impression. Considering the episode’s 77-minute running time (the second longest running time in this season), a few corners could probably have been cut. But the idea and execution are still great.

4: Common People

It’s weird to see comedy actors go outside their comfort zones and take on series roles. Or at least actors who are mostly known for performing in comedies. Chris O’Dowd has shaken off the IT Crowd mould effectively with serious dramas like Cavalry and puts in another strong performance as a doting husband. While I similarly associate Rashida Jones with her Anne Perkins Parcs and Rec persona (lots of ‘p’s there, apologies), she also puts in a poignant performance (more ‘p’s, hooray) as a wife surviving death through the means of a dystopian streaming service that’s not so dystopian. Simple plot, powerful stuff.

3: USS Callister: Into Infinity

Ah, it’s good to be back. Plaything was technically a sequel to Bandersnatch, but Into Infinity is a full-on follow up to the previous Star Trek pastiche episode. And it’s good to be back with Jesse Plemons, TV’s go-to creepy guy. I see you, Todd. I’m never going to unsee you, Todd, goshdarnit. But yeah, this entry adds some interesting lore, revealing that Plemmons’ bad guy wasn’t the only douchebag in the creative relationship. Plenty of action, tension and all-round great drama. I still hate you, Todd. Great stuff.

2: Bête Noir

Good lord, the tension. I’m a fan of tension in small doses. Concentrated doses, anyway. The Office (UK), Peep Show, not so much. But Good Time, Uncut Gems (probably any Safdie bros collab), oh yeah. Pile that sweet unbearable tension right onto my plate. And this episode right here? So much tension.

As soon as you realise that (so-and-so), is the bad guy (duh!) (Um, sorry, obligatory BE reference there. It doesn’t quite work, but anyway, I’ll leave it there for now). Anyway, as soon as you realise that particular individual is a wrong-un, you’re just rooting for them to get killed. Well, I am, anyway. That’s what the showrunners want you to do, I’m pretty sure. Like how they probably expected everyone to click the ‘kill dad’ option in Bandersnatch. But no more digressions, now. Yeah, lots and lots of tension, great acting and all-round encouragement to shout at the TV. Not that I did any shouting (I’m an introverted kind of gal), but heck, that was intense.

1: Eulogy

This might be an obvious choice for the top spot, but goshdarn was it earned. Paul Giamatti’s generally in the background when it comes to his substantial career on screen, yet he always makes an impact. When it comes to big screen roles, that’s where he really gets the chance to shine. The Holdovers was a modern masterpiece that proved the actor’s comedic and dramatic skill and still hasn’t got the critical attention it deserves. Even on the small screen, Giamatti’s acting is just as powerful and moving. His character’s flaws are drawn out as the episode progresses, but the emotional crescendo absolutely kills in the greatest of ways. 

To say anything more would be an obvious spoiler, but Eulogy represents the crown of a season that reminds you why Charlie Brooker is so damn good. Now, more Screenwipe, and that’d be the cherry on the cake.

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