Have I seen the first film? No. Have I seen the second one? Also no. But this one has Keanu Reeves voicing Shadow, so I had to give it a look.
It turns out I gave it a look at an early time when a load of children were in the cinema too. Fair enough, this is a kid’s film I’m reviewing. So they basically acted as a kind of barometer for the kind of films the younger gens are into these days. And just by judging the kind of trailers being shown before the film, it seems to be high energy flicks with multiple cuts designed for very short attention spans. Maybe I’m being slightly romantic here, but back in my day *a rosy-tinted cloud appears*, children’s films had a bit more focus and substance. No, I don’t have any strong memories of The Tigger Movie, my first cinema venture, but still, I feel like there was some heart and plot in earlier children’s films which isn’t present here.
But anyway, Sonic the Hedgehog 3 still does a decent job with what it’s got. And yeah, I’m aware I’m not exactly the target audience. Basically, Sonic’s enjoying life without chaos (emerald – look, a Sonic pun!), until he’s called into action by some random human beings to sort out a new threat – Shadow the Hedgehog. I haven’t played a lot of Sonic in my life. I’m more of a Mario gal (sue me). But I did watch my older brother playing Shadow the Hedgehog when I was younger. And I played a bit of Sonic Heroes with a BFF back in primary school. And we also played the running game on the DS Mario and the Sonic at the Olympic Games, where the basic idea was moving the stylus back and forth on the screen as fast as you physically can until it was shot to shit. But my screen wasn’t that damaged, so I didn’t buy a new one. Up yours, Senor Nintendo.
Anyway, back to the film. One thing the Sonic series does get right is the voice acting. Ben Schwartz was a great choice for Sonic, even though I can’t stop thinking of Parks and Rec’s John Ralphio every time he speaks. Idris Elba was also an inspired choice for Knuckles, even though I mostly just think of The Wire’s Russel ‘Stringer’ Bell. But the latest great choice for the growing cast is the iconic Keanu Reeves. Reeves has the kind of rizz that’ll bring audiences to the cinema with a single line, just like he psyched up viewers for Cyberpunk 2077 when his avatar appeared on screen, even though that overall project didn’t turn out so well. He’s the perfect choice to channel the angst-ridden hedgehog who’s seeking revenge for the loss of his human buddy Maria. And that image of the hog on a motorbike with a gun is iconic. But bear in mind that the film is still a kid’s film, so not too much violence or gore, sadly. There are plenty of hyperactive cuts and explosions though, so that should keep the kids happy.
Speaking of inspired casting, I couldn’t think of anyone better to embody eccentric Sonic villain Dr Robotnik more enthusiastically than Jim Carey. A part of me wishes that Leslie Neilsen could be resurrected to play Robotnik’s unhinged grandfather Gerald to add a bit of deadpan genius, but hey, we can’t have everything. The third entry in the Sonic is light on plot and narrative coherence in a variety of places, but hey, it’s an okay watch if you don’t want to pay a lot of attention. And it might be even more fun to watch on drugs and alcohol. I don’t partake in either, unfortunately, so I’ll have to settle for some sober speedy and frequently nonsensical, uh…stuff.