It’s been a decent while since I\u2019ve watched a children\u2019s film at the cinema. Maybe you\u2019d normally expect huge crowds of noisy, unsettled kids running around all over the place. Probably some loyal parents knowing they\u2019ll be attending an illogical snorefest and will decide to discreetly catch some Zs while their kids enjoy the chaos onscreen. That certainly never happened when my brothers and I watched Pok\u00e9mon and Digimon movies back in ye olden days at the Vue cinema in Reading*cough*. But this is my local Cineworld we\u2019re talking about here, and I still only counted around 20 people filling a massive theatre. Kids were well behaved, and I didn\u2019t spy any sleeping mamas or papas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Anyway, onto the film. A shy, singing crocodile is purchased by eccentric magician Hector P. Valenti to try and revitalise his failing career. The croc adopts a scarf at one point and makes fast friends with local boy Josh Primm who has recently moved into the neighbourhood of New York City. His parents take a while to adapt, but ultimately connect with the lonely guy, despite constant complaints from angry neighbour Mr Grumps. If you\u2019re willing to look past any strong Paddington<\/em> similarities (a far superior film in every way) as well as the ludicrous plot, then Lyle <\/em>is at best tolerable. The main comedy is delivered by Javier Bardem\u2019s charistmatic showman, and I\u2019m still unable to completely separate the actor from his iconic role as Anton Chigurh in the Coen Brother\u2019s No Country for Old Men<\/em>. Having finished reading Cormac McCarthy\u2019s masterful novel recently, viewing the opening sequence as Bardem dances merrily through a restaurant kitchen is somewhat unnerving. But you\u2019ll be pleased to know that when he has a conversation with a retail worker in a shop about purchasing an exotic animal, he does not engage the worker in an intimidating conversation about the nature of fate, nor does we weigh the weight of his life with a coin toss. He does appear to take the crocodile without paying though, so that\u2019s not great behaviour either. He also tricks a police officer with handcuffs at one point, although this involves an innocent swapping trick rather than Bardem forcibly breaking them and strangling the police offer with them instead, a la No Country<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No Country<\/em> comparisons aside, it\u2019s still disorientating to see Scott McNairy playing stable father and teacher Mr Pimm after his role in Narcos<\/em>, but again, I probably shouldn\u2019t be reading too much into 18-rated films and TV series concerning drugs and violent activities. This is a children\u2019s movie, after all. There\u2019s not much going on in terms of plot, and the family dynamic between the Pimms is woefully undeveloped. As a member of Gen Z, I should probably know who Shawn Mendes, the singing crocodile, is, but I don\u2019t. Sue me. What I do know is that every single musical tune in Lyle <\/em>gave me a strong inclination to stuff cotton wool in my ears. I\u2019m clearly not the target audience here, and I might have enjoyed Lyle<\/em> if I was younger, but as it is, the plot and songs aren\u2019t particularly engaging, heartfelt, or creative. I\u2019ve got to give a shout out to Brett Gelman\u2019s performance as Mr Grumps though. If you haven\u2019t seen The Other Guys<\/em> yet, see it. Whenever his character appears on screen, the only quotes going through my head were \u2018ARNIE PULMERS\u2019, \u2018ARNIE PULMIES\u201d and \u2018SHAVED\u2019. If you haven\u2019t seen the film, then you won\u2019t understand those references, or experience that joy. Aside from Gelman and Bardem, however, Lyle<\/em> is pretty lacklustre. Pick Paddington<\/em> instead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s been a decent while since I\u2019ve watched a children\u2019s film at the cinema. Maybe you\u2019d normally expect huge crowds of noisy, unsettled kids running around all over the place. Probably some loyal parents knowing they\u2019ll be attending an illogical snorefest and will decide to discreetly catch some Zs while their kids enjoy the chaos … <\/p>\n