Below is a commentary on this…film. Yeah, I knew it was going to honk going into it, but good lord did it honk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
The Universal certificate that appears in the corner mentions \u2018rude humour, language, threat\u2019. Interesting. What humour? There\u2019s no rude language, and there sure as heck isn\u2019t any threat. Even if I was watching this as a 5-year-old, I don\u2019t think I\u2019d be particularly concerned. I can\u2019t say that for sure, of course, I just like to think my younger self had some taste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The summary reads: \u2018In Textopolis, where the emojis are expected to display just one emotion, Gene\u2019s multiple expressions are a problem. His solution: become \u201cnormal.\u201d\u2019 This description reminded me of the baseline test in Blade Runner 2049<\/em>. In that world, Lieutenant Joshi (Robin Wright) would just arrive within the first few seconds of the movie and terminate Gene\u2019s malfunctioning ass, thus saving me the need to watch the rest of the film. \ud83e\udd17 Sadly, this is a kids\u2019 film, so that doesn\u2019t happen. \ud83d\ude30<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh look! Someone holds up a phone and puts an emoji on the head of the Columbia Studios woman! LOL \ud83e\udd24<\/p>\n\n\n\n Look at the sad emotion! He has to cry even when he wins the lottery! Comedy through opposing emotions huh? LMAO \ud83d\ude38<\/p>\n\n\n\n Main character saying he sounded British after observing a trio of British Monkeys, when he didn\u2019t say anything in a British accent whatsoever. Continuity error, ROFL COPTER \ud83d\ude39<\/p>\n\n\n\n The animation is \ud83d\udca9. Bland, unimaginative, with loads of \ud83d\udca9 puns. And that includes the \ud83d\udca9 emoji, even if he is voiced by Patrick Stewart. The design of the characters is ugly and bland enough already, and their mouth movements are lazy and off-putting as hell. This is post James Corden being witty in the Gavin and Stacey<\/em> era, so that\u2019s not helpful either. <\/p>\n\n\n\n No investment in the character\u2019s aspirations, either emoji or human. Your phone doesn\u2019t work? OH NO \ud83d\ude3fThere\u2019s no chance that the ending moral message will be to \u2018just be yourself\u2019, will it? Gene\u2019s concern that he doesn\u2019t \u2018fit in\u2019 certainly doesn\u2019t give any heavy suggestions towards that ending, does it? \ud83d\ude31<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh look, Gene\u2019s parents walk through YouTube! That\u2019s so meta! So funny! I\u2019m so invested in their dynamic! \ud83e\udd2d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The short sequence where Gene goes through that number portal thing has the potential to have some vaguely compelling visual potential. Newsflash: it doesn\u2019t. If you\u2019re looking for some seriously creative recent animation and storytelling, check out The Mitchells vs. The Machines<\/em> or Into the Spiderverse<\/em>. Really, any other animated film besides this \ud83d\udca9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s some \ud83d\udca9, poorly developed narrative with Jailbreak about how girls are pigeonholed into specific roles, and it lands even flatter than a one-dimensional pancake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jailbreak to Gene: \u2018I think you\u2019re pretty cool just the way you are\u2019 *COUGH*HeavyMoral MessageVerySubtleWow*COUGH* \ud83d\ude44<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hated this film enough already, and seeing James Corden doing a rendition of the spiritual song \u2018Nobody Knows the Troubles I\u2019ve Seen\u2019, replacing the word troubles with \u2018Touch Screen\u2019…whoever came up with that idea, just…No. \ud83d\ude21<\/p>\n\n\n\n No Gene\u2019s dad, I don\u2019t appreciate you quoting the Paris line from Casablanca<\/em>, a film that\u2019s a million light years better than this cheap-ass \ud83d\udca9 \ud83e\udd2c<\/p>\n\n\n\n Those bot bad guys things just look like generic version of those mutant-killing machines in X-Men: Days of Future Past<\/em>, a film which, coincidentally, is far, far, far better than this snooze fest \ud83d\ude34<\/p>\n\n\n\n Oof, I knew it was going to be \ud83d\udca9, and it didn\u2019t disappoint \ud83d\ude2c<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Below is a commentary on this…film. 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