If that sounds like a beige children\u2019s book title, then maybe that\u2019s semi-intentional. Anyway, after a couple of odd incidents taking place on the same day, I thought that, considering I haven\u2019t touched on this subject for a decent while, I\u2019d take a dive into the phenomenon that is the bald head. Mine, specifically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
I couldn\u2019t see The Incomer at my local Cineworld. Not a huge surprise, since Cineworld\u2019s financial model is very much biased towards the commercial side of things. Even though I didn\u2019t think The Incomer was particularly arthouse. I guess it\u2019s more on the independent side of things funding-wise, though. So, a quick trip on the train to another place that does show more arthouse films. Hop on train, walk to cinema, watch film, leave and walk back to train station, get on train, return. An easy sequence of events. In theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not so much \u2018in theory\u2019 when an older woman stops by you at the station and makes a point of coming across to you and giving you a blessing without asking. And touching you on the shoulders after she\u2019s done it. Why me, in particular, rather than any other individual waiting for the train at this present time? I can\u2019t help but assume it was related to one of the fairly rare occasions when I chose not to wear either a wig or a hat on my head. Combined with the fact that I\u2019m female. When I\u2019d stopped wearing wigs every day I went outside \u2013 which was pretty much every day \u2013 I\u2019d been wearing wigs for over half my life. Attending an all-girls school with a school of about 1000 girls as the only girl without hair on her head wasn\u2019t the easiest experience. There was a lot of the word \u2018girl\u2019 in that sentence, and deliberately so. When you\u2019re blasted by images of women in advertising, they\u2019re always going to have head hair. And almost all the time, that\u2019s going to be long hair. You\u2019ll see the occasional ad for men with no hair, since male patterned baldness is fairly common, but a bald woman? Nah. I\u2019ve talked about that long hair obsession a few times before, so I\u2019m not going to get into that too much right now. But spending all of my secondary school days in an environment where every other girl had plenty of what I didn\u2019t was an unsettling experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to the old woman. I\u2019m sure her intentions were good. She didn\u2019t mean any harm, maybe. But that becomes sketchier when these actions are happening to a complete stranger. Trying to see the situation through her shoes? \u2018Oh no. There\u2019s a woman with cancer of some kind. I\u2019ll make her day happier by bestowing this blessing on her. Then I\u2019ll give her more reassurance by touching her shoulders afterwards. Then I\u2019ll be on be on my way, knowing I\u2019ve done a good deed\u2019. Something like that? I don\u2019t know. I\u2019d say I don\u2019t particularly care, but that\u2019d be a lie, because I wouldn\u2019t be writing this post if I didn\u2019t. What gives people that sense of entitlement? I talked to a house member about the experience afterward and they said the closest thing they could compare it to was when strangers think it\u2019s okay to touch a pregnant woman\u2019s belly. I guess my head wasn\u2019t touched in this scenario (I\u2019d like to hope I\u2019d lose my shit if some fool of a Took tried that), but it\u2019s just the sight of the head in this situation that made the woman act like it was acceptable to say that thing and touch my shoulders. Lady? It ain\u2019t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sure, the country I\u2019ve grown up in isn\u2019t exactly known for warm greetings between strangers, but you could say the same about a lot of countries. To quote my favourite Simpsons character Johnny Tightlips, I see a lotta things. But I still think it\u2019s pretty basic social etiquette not to touch another stranger without their consent, right? I get the \u2018English, motherfucker, do you speak it?\u2019 Sam Jackson quote in my head from Pulp Fiction, then I rephrase it to something like \u2018Boundary, motherfucker, do you see it?\u2019. Clearly not, because you\u2019ve stepped right over it. These are just internal thoughts going on in my head at the time, mind you. My introverted self hasn\u2019t got the confidence to voice any of these thoughts out loud. And even if I did voice them, I think I\u2019d feel pretty terrible afterwards, because I don\u2019t think Old Lady Karen meant any genuine harm. But there is that bizarre sense of entitlement that\u2019s just flew in out of nowhere, and I think my bald female bonce was a big part of it. Also worth reinforcing that experiences like this don\u2019t happen particularly often. But when they do, you can be sure I take note of it (uh, the Taken speech is going through my head right now. Just thought you should know). And I took note of it again on the second occasion when I was walking up to the cinema and was greeted by a couple of tourists who I thought were looking for help, but actually wanted me to join their niche Christian cult. In fairness, I don\u2019t think this had anything to do with my lack of hair, I think I was just being too friendly and helpful on a day when I\u2019d already had that weird experience with Old Lady Karen. Less of that shit now. Let\u2019s just stick to the no eye contact method going forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But that bald head thing has happened in the past before. It happened in a minor form as I was on the way to a careers service, where another old woman did a kind of blessing thing without asking. I was just wearing a hat on that particular occasion, but maybe she still got the \u2018oh no bald woman\u2019 vibes too much and just had to come over and bestow a prayer on my unaccepting atheist ass. Anyway, that was irritating. Not like \u2018ruin your whole day\u2019 irritating, but just something that stews in your mind tank for a couple of hours and makes you wonder how some folks have the audacity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what was abso-frikkin-lutely a \u2018hey look cancer head woman\u2019 from another unwanted stranger took place a couple of years ago at my local pub. Apparently this dude had a bit of a reputation as it was, so that wasn\u2019t great. But, on one of those fateful days where I thought it was cool not to wear either a wig or hat in a public area, this guy just so happened to be there. Started off with a bit of convo about how I was really beautiful. Ok, you\u2019re a bit drunk, I\u2019ll let your bs go on for a little longer. But then he gets in the real selling point: THE MAGIC BEADS. I shit you not, this dude says he can \u2018cure\u2019 me with the assistance of his magic necklace that he dangles in front of me. Goddamn. The balls on this goober. I wasn\u2019t going for that. Luckily he safely and securely moved away from my unimpressed figure before he could lay out any more of his bullshit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oof, that experience set me right off. Internally, of course. You\u2019d have to start some serious shit if you want me to give you a proper external response. Getting sliced a bit by a broken exercise bike hook that couldn\u2019t tolerate my speed? Nope. Phone call telling me I got into one of the most prestigious universities around? Nah. But seriously, unless you\u2019re genuinely confident that another stranger is in danger or looks like they want to have a civil conversation with you, leave \u2018em alone, k?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ll attach some of my other hair-related posts below. And some cancer-related ones, too. Light hearted stuff, I know. You’re welcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n