No, it\u2019s not a fair based on that film starring that dude from a while ago, I just went to Oxford\u2019s St Giles Fair yesterday and I wanted to make a half-baked cinematic pun. So\u2026I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Courage level: Meh<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t as ambitious as last year\u2019s venture, gotta be honest. I faced my fears and went on the scariest ride back in 2025. Sure, there was a bit of whiplash from that dude swooping upside down at the scary top with little to no warning, but it was worth it. This year, however? Not so much. That ride from last year wasn\u2019t even there, in fairness, but I had no plans to go on 2026\u2019s big bad. So\u2026it\u2019s description time. Y\u2019know that infamous stunt from Jackass with the porterloo? The one where the dude\u2019s slingshotted in the air and shit literally and metaphorically happens? Well, like that. Not with any of the brown stuff, of course, but a similar slingshot mechanism. Plus it flips around a load going up and down. I\u2019ve tried to be a bit more ambitious with rides over the past few years, but, to quote Bob Fossil quoting OG singers Daryl Hall & John Oates, I can\u2019t go for that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What matters most, though, is that I went on my regular joint. The big spinny one. Very much not the best description, as that could describe a whole lot of rides, but\u2026you know. I\u2019m certain I looked this one up last year, but, you know, time is of the essence. I zoomed around and had my fun, and that\u2019s what matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vibes: Average<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not terrible. Not amazing. Mid, to use a more modern term. It was terrible, and the whole scene looked nice and pretty in the night. Lots of bright lights and all that. But a bigger crew needs to assemble next year. Preferably with some folks who want to go on the rides as well as those who don\u2019t. It\u2019s all cool if you don\u2019t fancy going on them, but it\u2019s nice to have some buddies to enjoy the chicanery nonetheless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Food: Acceptable <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I went a bit crazier last year, from what I remember. But it\u2019s always important to follow the golden rule, folks. Rides, then food. Never the other way round. Never. Unless you genuinely feel like you want to vomit and ruin the experience for all the other folks. Not cool. Unless it\u2019s some kind of revenge act like Lard Ass in the Stand By Me story, in which case a barforama is sanctioned. Otherwise, no can do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This year, I had my feathers numbered for just such an occasion. Not in that sense. I just mean I\u2019d consumed a sensible amount for dinner roughly an hour beforehand, and the only food I consumed at the gig itself was a modest donut. My nom-vom streak continues to prevail. It\u2019s all good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, that was a pretty good St Giles Fair. The main thing next year is just to get a bigger gang together for the ride.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
No, it\u2019s not a fair based on that film starring that dude from a while ago, I just went to Oxford\u2019s St Giles Fair yesterday and I wanted to make a half-baked cinematic pun. So\u2026I did. Courage level: Meh I wasn\u2019t as ambitious as last year\u2019s venture, gotta be honest. I faced my fears and … <\/p>\n