{"id":1199,"date":"2023-12-21T14:58:11","date_gmt":"2023-12-21T14:58:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/?p=1199"},"modified":"2024-01-04T10:45:07","modified_gmt":"2024-01-04T10:45:07","slug":"the-christmas-shop-in-meme-form-mostly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/?p=1199","title":{"rendered":"The Christmas Shop (In meme form, mostly)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It\u2019s a big endeavour. Huge, some might say. We\u2019re not even having a particularly large gathering, just the usual quiet one with the family. Still, stress in the purchasing department is a given.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>The Beginning<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s ok. We got here at around 8:15. There won\u2019t be too many people around. We\u2019re here. And there\u2019s already loads of people here. People who probably had the same idea as us. Gosh darn them and their like-minded ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Crowds<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As with any situation that involves large numbers of people congregating in the same area, things get stressful. You\u2019re holding the fort with the shopping cart, hoping against hope that none of the other passing customers will want any food that\u2019s being blocked by your trolley. Some might just stare blankly and wait for you to move on, then make their move when your trolley\u2019s slid past. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Others may even be bold enough to ask if you can move your apparatus in order for them to get to the food or drink that you\u2019re blocking. A bold move in today\u2019s society. Something yours truly most likely wouldn\u2019t pluck up the courage to do. Unless the product was biscoff-related. Gotta break through that wall of social awkwardness to get to that biscoff, no matter the cost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Cart Rage<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The shopping establishment we frequented is a pretty decent size, but at the end of the day, there\u2019s only room for two trolleys to go past each other at once. Cue chaos when a large bunch of people are constantly in the way as they slowly peruse the edibles on offer. Cue me telepathically demanding that they move their merry backside out of my way so I can get to the next item of interest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cue nothing happening because telepathy isn\u2019t a thing. Yet. So it\u2019s just a lonely, patient wait for them to move along, at which point I take advantage of the free space and zoom through that gap quick sharp. Or as quick as one can zoom with an already fairly heavy trolley of festive goods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Turkey Aisle<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh lord. Not the Turkey Aisle. Anything but the Turkey Aisle. It\u2019s not technically the Turkey Aisle, but that\u2019s where the turkey is, and that\u2019s naturally where the hordes are congregating, so I had to weave through Mission Impossible style to get another item in that situation. No, we don\u2019t eat turkey at Christmas. Never have. Odd, no?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Reward<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After a bit of hard work, a well-deserved reward. A nice panini and some apple juice in the caf\u00e9. That\u2019s the good life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s a big endeavour. Huge, some might say. We\u2019re not even having a particularly large gathering, just the usual quiet one with the family. Still, stress in the purchasing department is a given.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1199","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1199"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1263,"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1199\/revisions\/1263"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nancyepton.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}